I am writing something. Yes, I plan to make it the most boring thing ever written. I go to the store. A car is parked. Many cars are parked or moving. Some are blue. Some are tan. They have windows. In the store, there are items for sale. These include such things as soap, detergent, magazines, and lettuce. You can enhance your life with these products. Soap can be used for bathing, be it in a bathtub or in a shower. Apply the soap to your body and rinse. Detergent is used to wash clothes. Place your dirty clothes into a washing machine and add some detergent as directed on the box. Select the appropriate settings on your washing machine and you should be ready to begin. Magazines are stapled reading material made with glossy paper, and they cover a wide variety of topics, ranging from news and politics to business and stock market information. Some magazines are concerned with more recreational topics, like sports card collecting or different kinds of hairstyles. Lettuce is a vegetable. It is usually green and leafy, and is the main ingredient of salads. You may have an appliance at home that can quickly shred lettuce for use in salads. Lettuce is also used as an optional item for hamburgers and deli sandwiches. Some people even eat lettuce by itself. I have not done this. So you can purchase many types of things at stores.
If I drive around, I sometimes notice the houses and buildings all around. There are also pieces of farm land that are very large. Houses can be built from different kinds of materials. The most common types are brick, wood, and vinyl or synthetic siding. Houses have lawns that need to be tended. Lawns need to be mowed regularly. Most people use riding lawnmowers to do this. You can also use a push mower. These come in two varieties: gas-powered and manual. You don’t see manual push-mowers very much anymore, but they are a good option if you do not want to pollute the air with smoke from a gas-powered lawnmower. I notice that many families designate the lawnmowing responsibility to a teenager in the household. Many of these teenagers are provided with an allowance for mowing the yard, as well as performing other chores, like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, making their bed, and keeping the house organized. Allowances are small amounts of money given by parents to their children, usually on a weekly basis. These usually range from 5 dollars to 15 dollars, sometimes even 20 dollars. Many parents feel that teenagers can learn financial responsibility with this system.
Now I will talk about farm land. Farm land can be identified by some common features. They almost always consist of a very large patch of dirt with small green plants lined up in very long rows. You may sometimes see farm equipment riding over these rows, like tractors or combines. These machines help farmers grow more crops in less time. They are a very helpful invention. Some different types of crops are soybeans, cotton, corn, tomatoes, tobacco, and lettuce (which I mentioned earlier). Most crops are used as food, and can be defined as either fruits or vegetables. Some are commonly eaten raw, after being rinsed in water to remove any dirt. Some are often cooked, which helps give them a more pleasant taste and makes them easier to chew. A very versatile vegetable is the potato. It can be eaten raw, or it can be cooked in a variety of ways. They can be baked, and many people like to add butter to them. They can be mashed, and a lot of times brown gravy or milk gravy is poured on top of them. They can be cut into thin strips and fried. Typically a large amount of grease is required to prepare potatoes in this style, but they are easy to make and easy to eat. You can order them at several fast-food restaurants. Potatoes can also be boiled, stewed, and scalloped. There is a wide variety of options available to you when cooking potatoes.
Some other types of crops grown on farm land are used for other purposes. Cotton is used to make clothing (which I also mentioned earlier). It is a very versatile and inexpensive material for clothes. Such items as shirts, pants, socks, and underwear can be made from cotton. The process of converting cotton from a cotton plant to clothing is fairly complicated. Today, cotton is harvested more efficiently through the use of the cotton gin, invented by Eli Whitney many years ago.
Tobacco is another type of crop. It is used in making cigarettes. A lot of people smoke cigarettes, even though many medical sources have identified them as harmful to people’s health. Warnings are printed on cigarette packages reminding people of possible dangers resulting from smoking. Cigarettes are available in several brands, including Marlboro, Salem, and Virginia Slims. There is a brand called Kool, but I don’t know whether they are still available at most outlets. Tobacco farming is a large industry, and currently there is debate about it. Recently the government decided on some regulations that cost tobacco companies a large amount of money.
If you notice, some farm lands have animals living on them. Most of these are cows, and there are also pigs, sheep, and goats living on farms. Some are raised for the milk they provide. This milk goes through several processes to ensure that it is not contaminated before it is made available to consumers at stores (which I mentioned earlier). Another use for farm animals is meat. Three popular types of meat are beef, pork, and chicken. Beef comes from cows. Pork comes from pigs. Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that. These animals are raised to become plump and healthy, then they are killed, sometimes at slaughter houses. The meat is then removed from their bodies, cleaned, and made available at a variety of stores and restaurants. Sometimes this process can seem gross, but it is part of an advanced ecological food chain on earth. Just like birds eat worms and tigers eat deer, human beings eat cows and pigs. The main difference is that we don’t eat animals raw. We cook the meat to remove blood, fat, and germs from it. We also season our meat with salt or different kinds of sauces. The end result is food that is very tasty and is healthy for us.
Farmers do not like trespassers. If a farmer sees one, he will sometimes shoot at them with a shotgun that he owns. Trespassing is against the law. Laws are created by government to prevent people from living in fear. They are meant to provide safety for citizens. Our government in America consists of a legislative branch, an executive branch, and a judicial branch. The legislative branch makes laws based on the concerns of citizens they represent. The executive branch consists of the President. This person enforces the law, and he has certain other duties like declaring war and approving bills prepared by members of the legislative branch. The President is also considered the leader of our country. The judicial branch interprets the laws. This branch consists of the courts and the trials held in them. Here a judge and jury determine from evidence presented by lawyers whether someone is guilty of breaking a law. Initial law enforcement takes place among police officers. They are the first people to encounter situations where a law is being broken. If a criminal (law-breaker) becomes too violent or hostile, they will use guns or mace or nightsticks to administer immediate punishment. Their goal is to bring the criminal under control, so that he can receive a punishment determined by members of the judicial branch of government. Punishments mostly include time in jail, but they can also include fines and, in extreme cases, the death penalty. There is controversy surrounding the death penalty.
Children play with toys. This is common to almost all kids. Toys come in a very wide variety. Boys tend to like cars, action figures, and toy weapons. Girls tend to like dolls, toy kitchens, and make-up. Both of them like building or assembling things, be it with Legos, blocks, Play-Doh, or something similar. Toys can be found at most stores, and these days entire stores are dedicated to selling only toys. The most popular of these is Toys ‘R’ Us (with a backwards “R”). Their mascot is Geoffrey the Giraffe. Children love to go to Toys ‘R’ Us and look at the wide variety of toys available. Most children receive the greatest quanitity of toys on their birthdays, or during the holiday season in December. For the majority of children, this holiday is Christmas. For Jewish children, the holiday is Channakuh. Either way, the kid gets presents during this time, and most of these presents are toys.
Christmas is a holiday which has gradually become centered around the character “Santa Claus” and his elves and reindeer. Children are told that Santa’s elves build their toys, and Santa delivers them personally to each house in the world by riding in an airborne sleigh hauled by nine reindeer, including Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, who leads the way. Another popular Christmas character is Frosty the Snowman. Frosty is basically any snowman that comes to life. So during Christmas, many children build snowmen, and some of them hope that theirs might come to life. But all of these characters are myths. The true origin of Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, who founded the religion of Christianity a couple of thousand years ago. Many popular Christmas carols deal with his story, such as “Joy to the World” and “Silent Night.”
Other holidays include Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Independence Day. Thanksgiving has become a tradition of preparing large quantities of food for a large gathering of people, mainly family and friends. This meal usually features turkey or ham as the main course. Turkey and ham are both kinds of meat (which I mentioned earlier). The meal usually also consists of dressing and a wide assortment of vegetables (which I also mentioned earlier). The origin of Thanksgiving is usually traced to the days of the pilgrims, who were the first settlers in America. They made peace with the native people, the Indians, and together enjoyed a large feast, thanking God for providing them with such an abundance. (Their concepts of God were probably very different.)
Halloween is the holiday when people dress in costumes to look like other characters. Most of these are children, who go from door to door in different neighborhoods to request candy from the people living there. They usually say “trick or treat” then receive a treat. Very rarely does the person in the house respond with a trick. Halloween has some sort of demonic origin that I am not quite sure about, but the name derives from “All Hallow’s Eve.” I will not say much about Independence Day, but it is the day Americans celebrate the anniversary of our independence from Britain. Most families purchase fireworks during this holiday and set them off in their lawns (which I mentioned earlier).
America gained independence from Britain in the late 1700’s after the Revolutionary War. Britain was hoping to extend its empire across the Atlantic Ocean, but the colonists who settled the territory did not want to be under Britain’s control, with their various taxes and regulations. Both sides were very passionate about their position on the issue, so a war occurred. This war featured a few heroes, including George Washington and Paul Revere. George Washington became America’s first president when we gained independence. I am not sure what happened to Paul Revere. The Declaration of Independence was written before the war by Thomas Jefferson in 1776 and made clear the position of the colonists. It was signed by many important people, including Ben Franklin and John Hancock. Ben Franklin is well-known for many things. One of these is inventing electrical conductors in the form of lightning rods. A famous tale is that he flew a kite with a small piece of metal somewhere on the string during a lightning storm. This was an effective way to test his theory. Another thing Ben Franklin is known for is publishing Poor Richards Almanac. This was like a magazine and contained some of his famous writings and quotations. One famous quote was “Tell me, I forget. Teach me, I remember. Involve me, I learn.” Maybe this had something to do with why he flew that kite.
Trees are one of our most important natural resources. They are made of wood, and wood can be made into a variety of products. Some of the more obvious kinds are furniture, houses, and toothpicks. However, wood can also be made into paper. When I first heard this, I was skeptical, but it is true. Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles.
I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier).
Update
A wonderful soul has provided an audio narration of the first paragraph:
And another wonderful soul has provided an ASMR rendering of the entire essay!
I regret to inform you that I was actually interested in your article and not bored! I never knew that those things that cops carry around are called nightsticks! And that quote by Benjamin Franklin was equally interesting. I’m sorry but if you were trying to be boring you’ll have to do better than that.
I myself am attempting to write the most boring story ever. Writing a boring piece of literature is not as easy as one would think. Some are naturals at it while others need practice. I think you made a good shot at it. An important factor to remember is not just to make it boring, but to make it long and boring. You employed some good boring repetition and used facts that were mostly commonplace. That’s a good start. I think what would make it even boringly better is to make it more vague. Either that or make it extremely detailed…and not to mention excessively long. Another tip is to not write anything that is relevant to the reader’s life. In your article you mentioned Christmas. As I read that part of the article, I was reminded of the good Christmases I have had. Therefore, boredom was thwarted. These are just some tips I hope you gain some insight from. Good luck!
Thanks, Joe. Hopefully you conquer the realm of boring fiction the way I am attempting to conquer nonfiction.
I came across this many years ago, and struggled to find it again. I’m really glad that i did, and WOW IS IT BORING. I was not at all tired, and now I can’t stop myself yawning. Thank you for creating this.
-Ace
Brade? Can i use this on my website and credit it to you?
Ace, if you feel it will make the world a more boring place, go right ahead.
fuk you bitch
Good sir, I shall thank you to leave if you insist upon using such salty speech.
I love you Brade. You rock.
I was reading this to try and fall asleep, but I kept laughing and laughing :(. I know you tried to make it boring, I guess knowing that made it funnier to me.
How about my story….
The duck waddled along the shore of the lake. The duck sees a piece of bread left by a human. The duck eats the piece of bread left by the human, then continues along the shore of the lake. The duck sees another piece of bread left by a human. The duck eats that piece of bread as well. The duck then continues along the edge of the lake. The duck sees another duck waddling along the edge of the lake. The duck sees the other duck find a piece of bread left by a human. The duck watches as the other duck eats the piece of bread left by the human. The two ducks continue along the edge of the lake. The two ducks see several other ducks come upon bread left by humans. As the two ducks watch, the other ducks eat the bread left by the humans. The two ducks then see another piece of bread left by a human. The two ducks eat the piece of bread left by the humans. All of the ducks continue along the edge of the lake. The ducks find no more bread, so they turn around and continue back along the edge of the lake. The ducks find no more bread that day, but all in all, it was a good day.
Mark, that is amazing. It took me two sittings to make it through your excerpt.
MAN RAD MAN. NOT BAD. I loved it because I was high. I felt like I was traveling to the local store.
Nice job! Hilarious in it’s spectacular nature, completely devoid of interest, essential funny because it is boring on purpose. Surely hope you meant it to be that way, because if you meant it to be a crime thriller you really missed the bus.
I found this article to be very boring. I do think it would make a great primer on earth life, and, more specifically, on life in the United States, for aliens. I enjoy the use of commas, which, as you may be aware, are a punctuation mark which, as you may also be aware, is used to indicate a pause in a text or, as the case may be, sentence. May I suggest a boring article on the various functions of punctuation marks?
I’m better than Ace and i am here specifically to troll even tho it’s not what i’m good at.
P.S i’m better than Ace
-Better Than Ace
I am going to write the most boring thing ever..
BoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoringBoring…
I am hungry. It’s 2 am. I can’t sleep, But I’m Asian so it appears as though I am normally. Well. Salt.
I messed up my name. It’s chonky.
That was pretty shit
Not all crops are fruits or vegetables. Corn is a grain
“I asher Am I Woman Of My Word.I am a Huge Buttface and When I asked My Mom did she like me she siad only as a Friend.I am A Big Time Loser Who Like To Look at Feet.Please Don’t Point Or Stare at My Uglyness or Ill Make You Smell My dirty,Filthy Butt.I wish That King Insane II Would Kiss My in the Mouth.Please King Insane”
that is so boring that when i read it to my boss after the first 4 sentences we were dropping dead from lack of brain circulation. im suprised my brain isnt bleeding so badly that i cant read this so very well done on this peice of horrible dustyness. boring….
lool this is boring
Well i was reading this to fall asleep but it didn’t work … I have a problem 0_0
I actually found this quite interesting… I too, was trying to read “boring” stuff to fall asleep (it’s 11:15pm) and I can’t find anything :(
use more repetition to make it more boring.
This was mostly boring. What kept it from being purely boring was that I keep reading to see where you go next. Try reading the first several chapters of the first book of Chronicles in the Bible – that’s some boring shit!
I actually found it quite interesting, but that was probably cause I was already bored-to-death before I reading it.
^^ Sorry, *before I READ
This is so boring good job but it sucks my granny doesn’t even talk dat boring
I love this website.
“Much respect” to the commenter who ran this essay through Gizoogle (which is hella funny), but it takes up madd space, so I’d rather provide a direct link: http://www.gizoogle.net/xfer.php?link=http://www.bradezone.com/2008/09/13/boring/&sa=U&ei=mvyIUda_IYSLhQe1v4DADg&ved=0CBgQFjAA&usg=AFQjCNEC4xA_nzV5p7TtHfMZ8IYgbzRWBA
Surprisingly, I found this quite interesting. I might just being a boring person!
Your “being boring” goal was so deftly achieved that I thought it was absolutely hysterical!
What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I liked this blog post. It was helpful. Keep on posting!
I read half of it and woke up same position still holding my phone sideways about an hour later last night. Didn’t even drop my phone! Lol
I gotta tell u…. i still cant sleep… need a more boring article… can u recommend any?
I laughed hysterically at this! I read if to my boyfriend, who is now asleep on me!
Uh huh.
i feel like if i read this whole thing i could get brain dammage.no half of it could give me brain dammage
u probrably died in the process of writing this but i still see you commenting so i have no idea how you survived writing this whole thing
I quite enjoyed this, although, boring as it is, it did not help me get to sleep. I had a few chuckles though, which I am glad for.
i googled boring things to read cuz i couldn’t fall asleep last night (i was very angry and i cant sleep when im mad) i made it about half way through and fell asleep with my phone by my head. thank you for your help!
So boring. Splendid job. I must say, I was geniunely entertained by the complete lack of anything interesting in this story.
All is strange and vague. Are we dead? Or is this Ohio?
I read the entire thing and still can’t sleep. I need help, it maybe this isn’t boring enough.
Sweet shit dude
Haha that is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring/kinda interesting. I have seen more boring things and more kinda interesting things in the last 79 Years of my life!! Ya I’m 79 and I’m a granny, but I’m an up-beat granny!! Oosh that sucker!!!!!
bro this is the funniest txt ive ever read, thanks for making my day bro!
Because of this article I now have super-aids
Thank you, this helped me to sleep
Sorry but I was very intrestead in the article so now it’s 3 Am and I still can’t sleep
It’s been a more than a year since I last came on this page, time flies!! I can see my comment from Jan. 28th 2013 hahaha
Neither the Executive Branch or its head, the President of the United States, have the ability to declare war. This power comes from Congress, which is of the Legislative Branch.
Great point. I promise to correct this in the 2nd Edition.
I didnt believe at first that it could be that boring. i ended up skipping the whole thing after reading a few lines
sucks you should be ashamed of yourself. Thanks for wasting my time that, by the way I will never get back.
Best story on Earth!
Same with the story about the ducks!
Your writing is very interesting… In a boring way… I was looking for something to put me asleep and your writing almost did… Thanks for your boring essay… :D
Woooow Brad apparently you deleted my past comments or something because they are not there anymore, I thought we had something special you and me after all this time I’ve spent reading your essay… *snif*
Anyways yes I’m joking sorry and I’m coming back here to wonder why there are a bunch of comments all of a sudden LOL
I meant Brade!! Sorry!
I’m blind. I just found my past comment. Forget I ever said anything hehe…
It’s all good, Fred. I only delete comments that make me feel self-conscious about my writing.
It helped me sleep
awsome text
hi
WTF LOL
I have to thank you for this treasure. Reason being after I heard screams of help from my neighbor at 3am and a 911 call my nerves were shot. All in all, everyone is/will be okay now, and sleep may very well be in my future. Thank you.
BEST COMMENT EVER ^
I was looking for a boring paragraph to read myself to sleep… I found this to be quite interesting…
Goddamn that is really very boring. You have succeeded in making an insomniac person (me) fall asleep. Congrats.
I honestly think you tried your best at making a boring story, but it didn’t work. I think you can improve this by making it less random which causes people to laugh and flow into your nest topic. However i understand that making a boring story is hard and i congratulate you on trying your best.
Sincerely,
A Person You Don’t Know
:3
Dang i messed up on those other ones
It was meant to say “and you should flow into your next topic.”
Step 1. Copy entire passage
Step 2. Google “Speed Reader”
Step 3. Set reading speed
Step 4. Enjoy!
( I read the whole thing in about 5 minutes, at speed 850)
-Obama
Boring u idiot
Sorry, it’s too interesting and it really helps with my homework!! I yawned at last but I really liked it. You ROCK!!!!!
turnips are a long standing therapeutic remedy for sleeping carrot syndrome.
Well um that was very………boring lol
this is actually kinda interesting haha
Lolololololololololololololololol u r soooooooooo funny I couldn’t stop laughing lolololololololololololololololol lolololololololololololololololol lolololololololololololololololol
P.S. Lol
Wow. No kidding! It is the most boring thing I have read!
very interesting, you are going to have to work harder. i suggest not going into as much detail. make it about the most bland, boring, day to day things you can think of (ex:i wake up.) try writing more in first person view.
wtf
BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was just trying to bore myself to death for no reason…
bakwas pathetic waste of time i request you to sell diapers
Great story I would most definetly buy this if u wrote a book
This was quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire existence.
More borin stories please :)
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
but not bad grammar!
I did not find ur essey boring..but if you..or anyone is looking for something boring enough to be sleepy…read all the comments here…you’ll be surely drowned.
I pictured Morgan Freeman narrating this as I read along and I can assure you, it was far from boring.
I actually enjoyed this which says something about my character
Haha this is hilarious! I love it. I came here in search of some dummy content for my projects and this is perfect!
I READ THE WHOLE THING!
Lol this is so boring
Well it didn’t work that well for me
Omg dying here laughing at the comments, Fred’s killed me almost, and the comma love guy, he was too much! And Brian, lol, just imagen its Morgan freeman narratoring this as a monologue, lol I’m glad I went to pee before I read this section and oh Brade dear, it was a very boring bit of writing, I could only get to the lettuce is a veg bit before I cheated and scrolled to the last paragraph, but I did like how you pulled the article all together by recalling what a magazine was haha but darn it all its 4:11am and I’m still awake
My eyes are caked up with the crusty remains of tears after having read most of this. My face was tremoring and exploding with bellowous laughter as I struggled from sentence to sentence. The more I read the less I could hold back the laughter. I thank you for the best laugh I’ve had in ages. I love the obvious statements you offer. Gold.
^ What a terrific way to usher in the 100th comment! Thanks Phil, and thanks Dawniepoos–although I wish you’d read past lettuce. Maybe during your next insomnia attack!
Lol I’m back for my second helping of the most boring article on the interwebz, it’s like a really rich chocolate cheesecake, ha ha i don’t wanna over do it and eat the whole thing at once! So tonight I got as far as the “farmer don’t like trespassers and they might shoot ya” bit and I’m just dying here, where the hell do you live anyways?
Tears are rolling here, I’m some glad farmers around here don’t do that or we’d have alotta dead people in the fields beside their 4 wheelers and omg I can just imagen a vegan really this article, they’d be so appalled at the “meat is tastey and good for you” bit, not that I disagree cuz what’s better than bacon?
I did not bother to finish it, as a matter of fact i did not even scratch it. So with that being said I do think you did a wonderful job of making it boreding.
Just wanted to say, I didn’t think this article was boring at all. In fact, I thought it was a bit of a masterpiece. I think you have a great ability to pick out the relevant information about the world around you, without deviating or offering unnecessary opinions, or getting bogged down in unnecessary description. However, I’d also like to point out that potatoes cannot be eaten raw. Consumption of raw potatoes can, in some instances, lead to serious food poisoning
and even death.
I cannot believe this is still on the world wide web.. I feel connected to you all.
-Panlo
I read this to my fiance to try and bore him to sleep but we both ended up dying laughing through most of it. It’s not boring to me, it is mostly hysterical because of the random subject changes.
“There is controversy surrounding the death penalty.
Children play with toys.”
This subject change in particular had me laughing so hard I almost couldn’t breathe. This is golden. I absolutely love it.
every time my little brother wont go away, I start reading this in a monotone voice. works every time!
I like it. It wasn’t that boring at all. I was imagining everything that was written. Thank you though.
THANKYOU!!!! My little sister was watching me watch YouTube. Of course, I hate it when people watch me do stuff.
So, I developed a plan. I would look up something boring to get rid of her. AND IT WORKED!!! Hey, I love my family and all, but sometimes, I just need my space.
Sounds like a smart plan. This essay was certainly not meant to be enjoyed via over-the-shoulder reading.
This really helped stop my little brother from breathing on my neck.
Soooo boring! Thank you
SORRY U DIDNT SUCCEED
CALL ME FOR THE GREATEST BORING STUFF
0243244803.0208088040
this is rlly boring. great job. :/
I spammed this to my friend skype and it bugged the hell out of him thnx brade
LOL even though its supposed to be boring its funny and not boring really lol
I had paperwork to finish and my 7 year old kid wouldn’t quit bugging me to play with him. I typed read something boring to my kid to get rid of him and your site came up first. I read the first three paragraphs and he said “this is boring” and left the room. So, your most boring writing served a useful purpose.
Not boring at all. It was interesting to read it and to see simple american view on simple things. However, I see lack of knowledge about simple things like food because nowdays food is not prepared healthy, it’s not healthy at all now. People add many chemicals who cause feeling of good “taste”.
Ironically this is the most un-boring shit I’ve read.
Thanks for the boredom. I read this on Christms Eve, as I was not able to sleep. This made me tired and bored, therefore I slept. And for that, I thank you.
jesus christ this helps me alot to fall alseep
awesome text
Thank you for posting this very long article, which I cut and pasted into a Word document to show someone how to make columns and page breaks. You may have thought this was boring, but reading it in a library made me want to laugh out loud and break the sacred silence.
This was beautful ;-;
Used it to troll mah friends XD
I’m sorry but that wasn’t the most boring thing ever I found sort of interesting and informative I liked it though there is also lots of infering to do like the thin prices of potatoes are frys you see the connection .If you want to make a boring story then do like the cat goes meow the cow gose moo etc.do you see my point
PS not trying to be rude.tell me if I am
Lol.
Lol. That is all I have to say. LOL.
LOL.
Thank you for this boring essay. When my brothers or sisters send me a boring text about something I don’t care about, I just copy paste your essay and send it back to them. The ultimate payback.
It wasn’t boring
Wow this is actually not boring lmao when im bored i read these they are funny Great Job on making these :)
Beautiful >.<
Oh man it’s 3:30 am and I’m still awake after reading this oh what to do :(
I thought this was going to have a cliff hanger at the end but i read it all anyways good job at being boring and i wonder how you felt while writing this
That was actually quite interesting in places, but, yes, very long winded and boring in others. You have succeeded. ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/2 stars for boringness. My favourite part that almost made me lol was chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that already. Haha.
That was actually quite interesting in places, but, yes, quite long-winded and boring in others. You have succeeded. ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/2 stars for boringness. My favourite part that almost made me lol was: “Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that already.” Haha.
Wtf did someone hack me I do not know where that tiger profile pic came from and I only posted my comment once. Hmmm. Btw I loved the random subject changes I was so funny. I just read all comments. Loved the duck story and the comma obsessed guy who used it like a million times lol
Very interesting indeed.
Very interesting
😂
Very interesting
😂
Mr. Banality says: Why is the “G” in google blue? Let’s just think about that for a moment. We try here with this very simple question to get to the essense of banality. What it truly means to experience a banality darkly.
Mr. Banality asks: Why Yoga? When you can Yawn?
It was kinda funny what I read out of it. But it was funny cuz it was stupid lol.
Lmao so boring i had to use it to spam a chat
This is actually fun to read lolol wth
Dis is actually fun lolol wth
*slow clap*
*like button*
If your desire was truly to write the most boring thing, then you have failed here. This is actually quite an interesting piece. Don’t underestimate the power of stating the obvious. It’s not obvious to all.
This is a fascinating cultural phenomenon:
“They usually say “trick or treat” then receive a treat. Very rarely does the person in the house respond with a trick.”
This is particularly insightful..
“They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news.”
You seem not to care about this piece, but I’m using it as an example of understated writing with my graduate students.
Thank you.
This changed my life
Page, that’s pretty rad. Hopefully the students don’t nod off!
hello
i sucessed to something yes you will ask to me to what? firstly i wanna tell you i am so sadding sad beacuse since 3year i have wanna something and every summer ever winter and i am sure you re worring result exactly 0 zero beacuse i have no money i passed to abroad and one university but i wont go to there beacusd no scholarship nooo i understood just something health and money are the important in the word life damn it really … i am despirete too much i prayed to god for help …
That was not boring. I had to read a Michelle Obama biography once. THAT is boring.
i found this really fun to read and i hope you can email me another one. many thanks.
I laughed too much!
This actually helped me fall asleep last night thank you lol
you won!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Brade, I’ve been looking for something to tell telemarketers when they call me. I shall print off this incredibly long story and see how long it is before they hang up on me. Oh thanks, thanks and thanks
Thanks Brade, I’ve been looking for something to tell telemarketers when they call me. I shall print off this incredibly long story and see how long it is before they hang up on me. Oh thanks, thanks and thanks
Your meat section is alll wrong. 1. Beef does not come from a cow, it is a cow. Same with pork and chicken. They are not sometimes slaughtered at slaughter houses but they are. Every day 56 BILLION animals are killed for your enjoyment to eat. The process does not seem gross it is Disgusting. If you cannot watch and understand how a animal is killed for food, you should not eat meat!! “People do not want to hear truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed”
This is the most boring article ever!!!!!!!😤
truly boring
Actually it is not so boring, it is just rambling, and the continual change in topics actually keeps it going. To be truly boring you need repetition. Also your occasional thoughts/insights throughout add elements of surprise, or at least punctuation, that break up the boredom. I stop to read this while grading student papers, and they were far more boring than this (because the same topic over and over and over and over). This almost just sounds like normal people talking – so I think your are mistakenly saying that the innane is banal. But nice try…
I found this rather captivating, God knows why
The only thing interesting is when you said “I am writing something. Yes, I plan to make it the most boring thing ever written. I go to the store. A car is parked. Many cars are parked or moving. Some are blue. Some are tan. They have windows. In the store, there are items for sale. These include such things as soap, detergent, magazines, and lettuce. You can enhance your life with these products. Soap can be used for bathing, be it in a bathtub or in a shower. Apply the soap to your body and rinse. Detergent is used to wash clothes. Place your dirty clothes into a washing machine and add some detergent as directed on the box. Select the appropriate settings on your washing machine and you should be ready to begin. Magazines are stapled reading material made with glossy paper, and they cover a wide variety of topics, ranging from news and politics to business and stock market information. Some magazines are concerned with more recreational topics, like sports card collecting or different kinds of hairstyles. Lettuce is a vegetable. It is usually green and leafy, and is the main ingredient of salads. You may have an appliance at home that can quickly shred lettuce for use in salads. Lettuce is also used as an optional item for hamburgers and deli sandwiches. Some people even eat lettuce by itself. I have not done this. So you can purchase many types of things at stores.
If I drive around, I sometimes notice the houses and buildings all around. There are also pieces of farm land that are very large. Houses can be built from different kinds of materials. The most common types are brick, wood, and vinyl or synthetic siding. Houses have lawns that need to be tended. Lawns need to be mowed regularly. Most people use riding lawnmowers to do this. You can also use a push mower. These come in two varieties: gas-powered and manual. You don’t see manual push-mowers very much anymore, but they are a good option if you do not want to pollute the air with smoke from a gas-powered lawnmower. I notice that many families designate the lawnmowing responsibility to a teenager in the household. Many of these teenagers are provided with an allowance for mowing the yard, as well as performing other chores, like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, making their bed, and keeping the house organized. Allowances are small amounts of money given by parents to their children, usually on a weekly basis. These usually range from 5 dollars to 15 dollars, sometimes even 20 dollars. Many parents feel that teenagers can learn financial responsibility with this system.
Now I will talk about farm land. Farm land can be identified by some common features. They almost always consist of a very large patch of dirt with small green plants lined up in very long rows. You may sometimes see farm equipment riding over these rows, like tractors or combines. These machines help farmers grow more crops in less time. They are a very helpful invention. Some different types of crops are soybeans, cotton, corn, tomatoes, tobacco, and lettuce (which I mentioned earlier). Most crops are used as food, and can be defined as either fruits or vegetables. Some are commonly eaten raw, after being rinsed in water to remove any dirt. Some are often cooked, which helps give them a more pleasant taste and makes them easier to chew. A very versatile vegetable is the potato. It can be eaten raw, or it can be cooked in a variety of ways. They can be baked, and many people like to add butter to them. They can be mashed, and a lot of times brown gravy or milk gravy is poured on top of them. They can be cut into thin strips and fried. Typically a large amount of grease is required to prepare potatoes in this style, but they are easy to make and easy to eat. You can order them at several fast-food restaurants. Potatoes can also be boiled, stewed, and scalloped. There is a wide variety of options available to you when cooking potatoes.
Some other types of crops grown on farm land are used for other purposes. Cotton is used to make clothing (which I also mentioned earlier). It is a very versatile and inexpensive material for clothes. Such items as shirts, pants, socks, and underwear can be made from cotton. The process of converting cotton from a cotton plant to clothing is fairly complicated. Today, cotton is harvested more efficiently through the use of the cotton gin, invented by Eli Whitney many years ago.
Tobacco is another type of crop. It is used in making cigarettes. A lot of people smoke cigarettes, even though many medical sources have identified them as harmful to people’s health. Warnings are printed on cigarette packages reminding people of possible dangers resulting from smoking. Cigarettes are available in several brands, including Marlboro, Salem, and Virginia Slims. There is a brand called Kool, but I don’t know whether they are still available at most outlets. Tobacco farming is a large industry, and currently there is debate about it. Recently the government decided on some regulations that cost tobacco companies a large amount of money.
If you notice, some farm lands have animals living on them. Most of these are cows, and there are also pigs, sheep, and goats living on farms. Some are raised for the milk they provide. This milk goes through several processes to ensure that it is not contaminated before it is made available to consumers at stores (which I mentioned earlier). Another use for farm animals is meat. Three popular types of meat are beef, pork, and chicken. Beef comes from cows. Pork comes from pigs. Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that. These animals are raised to become plump and healthy, then they are killed, sometimes at slaughter houses. The meat is then removed from their bodies, cleaned, and made available at a variety of stores and restaurants. Sometimes this process can seem gross, but it is part of an advanced ecological food chain on earth. Just like birds eat worms and tigers eat deer, human beings eat cows and pigs. The main difference is that we don’t eat animals raw. We cook the meat to remove blood, fat, and germs from it. We also season our meat with salt or different kinds of sauces. The end result is food that is very tasty and is healthy for us.
Farmers do not like trespassers. If a farmer sees one, he will sometimes shoot at them with a shotgun that he owns. Trespassing is against the law. Laws are created by government to prevent people from living in fear. They are meant to provide safety for citizens. Our government in America consists of a legislative branch, an executive branch, and a judicial branch. The legislative branch makes laws based on the concerns of citizens they represent. The executive branch consists of the President. This person enforces the law, and he has certain other duties like declaring war and approving bills prepared by members of the legislative branch. The President is also considered the leader of our country. The judicial branch interprets the laws. This branch consists of the courts and the trials held in them. Here a judge and jury determine from evidence presented by lawyers whether someone is guilty of breaking a law. Initial law enforcement takes place among police officers. They are the first people to encounter situations where a law is being broken. If a criminal (law-breaker) becomes too violent or hostile, they will use guns or mace or nightsticks to administer immediate punishment. Their goal is to bring the criminal under control, so that he can receive a punishment determined by members of the judicial branch of government. Punishments mostly include time in jail, but they can also include fines and, in extreme cases, the death penalty. There is controversy surrounding the death penalty.
Children play with toys. This is common to almost all kids. Toys come in a very wide variety. Boys tend to like cars, action figures, and toy weapons. Girls tend to like dolls, toy kitchens, and make-up. Both of them like building or assembling things, be it with Legos, blocks, Play-Doh, or something similar. Toys can be found at most stores, and these days entire stores are dedicated to selling only toys. The most popular of these is Toys ‘R’ Us (with a backwards “R”). Their mascot is Geoffrey the Giraffe. Children love to go to Toys ‘R’ Us and look at the wide variety of toys available. Most children receive the greatest quanitity of toys on their birthdays, or during the holiday season in December. For the majority of children, this holiday is Christmas. For Jewish children, the holiday is Channakuh. Either way, the kid gets presents during this time, and most of these presents are toys.
Christmas is a holiday which has gradually become centered around the character “Santa Claus” and his elves and reindeer. Children are told that Santa’s elves build their toys, and Santa delivers them personally to each house in the world by riding in an airborne sleigh hauled by nine reindeer, including Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, who leads the way. Another popular Christmas character is Frosty the Snowman. Frosty is basically any snowman that comes to life. So during Christmas, many children build snowmen, and some of them hope that theirs might come to life. But all of these characters are myths. The true origin of Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, who founded the religion of Christianity a couple of thousand years ago. Many popular Christmas carols deal with his story, such as “Joy to the World” and “Silent Night.”
Other holidays include Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Independence Day. Thanksgiving has become a tradition of preparing large quantities of food for a large gathering of people, mainly family and friends. This meal usually features turkey or ham as the main course. Turkey and ham are both kinds of meat (which I mentioned earlier). The meal usually also consists of dressing and a wide assortment of vegetables (which I also mentioned earlier). The origin of Thanksgiving is usually traced to the days of the pilgrims, who were the first settlers in America. They made peace with the native people, the Indians, and together enjoyed a large feast, thanking God for providing them with such an abundance. (Their concepts of God were probably very different.)
Halloween is the holiday when people dress in costumes to look like other characters. Most of these are children, who go from door to door in different neighborhoods to request candy from the people living there. They usually say “trick or treat” then receive a treat. Very rarely does the person in the house respond with a trick. Halloween has some sort of demonic origin that I am not quite sure about, but the name derives from “All Hallow’s Eve.” I will not say much about Independence Day, but it is the day Americans celebrate the anniversary of our independence from Britain. Most families purchase fireworks during this holiday and set them off in their lawns (which I mentioned earlier).
America gained independence from Britain in the late 1700’s after the Revolutionary War. Britain was hoping to extend its empire across the Atlantic Ocean, but the colonists who settled the territory did not want to be under Britain’s control, with their various taxes and regulations. Both sides were very passionate about their position on the issue, so a war occurred. This war featured a few heroes, including George Washington and Paul Revere. George Washington became America’s first president when we gained independence. I am not sure what happened to Paul Revere. The Declaration of Independence was written before the war by Thomas Jefferson in 1776 and made clear the position of the colonists. It was signed by many important people, including Ben Franklin and John Hancock. Ben Franklin is well-known for many things. One of these is inventing electrical conductors in the form of lightning rods. A famous tale is that he flew a kite with a small piece of metal somewhere on the string during a lightning storm. This was an effective way to test his theory. Another thing Ben Franklin is known for is publishing Poor Richards Almanac. This was like a magazine and contained some of his famous writings and quotations. One famous quote was “Tell me, I forget. Teach me, I remember. Involve me, I learn.” Maybe this had something to do with why he flew that kite.
Trees are one of our most important natural resources. They are made of wood, and wood can be made into a variety of products. Some of the more obvious kinds are furniture, houses, and toothpicks. However, wood can also be made into paper. When I first heard this, I was skeptical, but it is true. Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles.
I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier). “
Best comment is best.
lol poo
u are poop
I couldn’t even get past the first paragraph lol
Brade you took boorishness to another level !
Boring AF
This was actually very good. I have a vivid imagination and Inused it while reading this priceless document.
Joy to the World is not actually a Christmas carol. Thank you for telling us ( boring article readers) the true reason for Christmas. I love Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
This rather reminds me of my childhood science book. 😂
Sooooo interesting… (sarcastic voice)
more entertaining than my homework :T
BORING
Good job mate.
boing and stupid
Is it natural that I was laughing whole way through?
Helped me sleep
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How’s that for boring?
An excellent James Joyce impression there, I’d say.
Thank you so much for this!!!! I am teaching high school English, and this is GOLD!
That was actually pretty cool!
This story is actually pretty interesting.
Its very interesting to say the least.
Still a better love story than Twilight.
Welp.I clicked off on the 2nd wourd.
This is really good. You should do more of this.
Thank you for writing this story!!I actually loved it.
This was very boring
Thank you for being able to always kill my boners in class. <3
Who seriously has the time to write that shit
I like your website!!! :)
I like cars too, and you? ;)
Bye… Thank for your attention :)
sup homie sick story loved it
This is a very good story. It has a lot of things that make a story good. For instance, the grammar is arranged very well. The indentation of the paragraphs make it look better on the eyes. The vivid descriptions of different products let us visualize what it is like to use everyday objects like paper. The story has a beginning, a middle, and an end, which is a good thing to have in a story. The story has many plot twists. At one time, it’s talking about wood’s use infurniture. Later, it talks about wood’s use in houses. A really well written plot twist is that wood can be used for paper. This was a very good story, and a very good comment about this story. Please leave a comment and give me constructive critisism on my skills with plot structure and grammar for writing future comments.
Thanks, John Doe. When this essay is made into a movie, I’ll have you create the official trailer.
Thanks a lot for this lovely text. I read this out to my online friend, and it helped him fall asleep. Very useful :)
“Tell me, I forget. Teach me, I remember. Involve me, I learn.” Maybe this had something to do with why he flew that kite.
This is perhaps a little too interesting! But, then again, it is a quote from a very interesting person and not something original, so maybe it rather is boring.
boring as hellllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clickbait, this is entertaining.
Hey Brade,
Can I use this as a mock passage in a mock test to torture our teacher? Many thanks – this is very boring.
Go for it, Brennan. Hopefully the teacher quits on the spot!
2019????? anyone?
best thing 2 send 2 annoying friends;)
best thing to send 2 annoying friends;)
As a punishment in my technology class, my teacher wants us to copy all this text in an hour. Not gonna lie, after reading it, I don’t think it’s a punishment. But that’s because I get to read all that nonsense again.
Well, I read the whole thing, hoping that it would help me with my insomnia. I’m afraid it wasn’t quite boring enough. But thanks for trying.
˙sǝןʎʇs ɔıʇsıןɐǝɹ ǝɥʇ sɐ ʇuǝןɐʇ ɥɔnɯ sɐ ǝɹınbǝɹ ʇou sǝop ɥɔɐoɹddɐ sıɥʇ ʞuıɥʇ ǝןdoǝd ʎuɐɯ ˙ʇɹɐ oʇ ɥɔɐoɹddɐ ʎɹɐɹodɯǝʇuoɔ ɹo uɹǝpoɯ ɐ sı sıɥʇ ˙pǝıןddɐ ǝɹɐ sǝʞoɹʇsɥsnɹq ǝɥʇ puɐ pǝuıqɯoɔ ǝɹɐ sɹoןoɔ ǝɥʇ ʎɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʎq ʎןǝɹǝɯ suoıʇoɯǝ ʎǝʌuoɔ oʇ ʇdɯǝʇʇɐ osןɐ sbuıʇuıɐd ǝɯos ˙ɔıʇsıuoıssǝɹdɯı ɹo ɔıʇsıןɐǝɹ ǝq uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙ǝןdoǝd puɐ ‘sǝdɐɔspuɐן ‘sןɐɯıuɐ ‘sɹǝʍoןɟ buıpnןɔuı ‘sʇɔǝظqns ɟo ʎʇǝıɹɐʌ ǝpıʍ ɐ ʇɔıdǝp uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙ןnɟıʇnɐǝq ʎɹǝʌ ǝq uɐɔ sbuıʇuıɐd puɐ sbuıʍɐɹp ˙sɐʌuɐɔ ǝsn osןɐ uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙sbuıʇuıɐd puɐ sbuıʍɐɹp ɹıǝɥʇ ɹoɟ ɹǝdɐd ǝsn sʇsıʇɹɐ ˙sʍǝu pǝɹǝpısuoɔ ǝq ʎןqɐqoɹd pןnoɔ sbuıʇıɹʍ ǝɥʇ ‘ǝɯıʇ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ˙ɹǝʇɐן sɹɐǝʎ ןıʇun ןɐɔıɹoʇsıɥ ǝɯoɔǝq ʇ’uop sbuıʇıɹʍ ǝsǝɥʇ ‘ʎןןɐnʇɔɐ ˙ʎʇǝıɔos ɹıǝɥʇ ʇnoqɐ sʇɔɐɟ ןɐɔıɹoʇsıɥ uʍop ǝʇıɹʍ osןɐ uɐɔ ʎǝɥʇ ˙sɹǝpɐǝɹ ǝʇɐʌıʇdɐɔ uɐɔ ʇɐɥʇ sɯǝod puɐ sǝıɹoʇs ǝɔnpoɹd uɐɔ ɹǝʇıɹʍ ɐ ‘ןıɔuǝd ɹo uǝd ɐ puɐ ɹǝdɐd ǝɯos ʎןuo ɥʇıʍ ˙ɹǝdɐd ɟo uoıʇuǝʌuı ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ pǝʇıɟǝuǝq ʎןʇɐǝɹb ǝʌɐɥ sʇsıʇɹɐ puɐ sɹǝʇıɹʍ ˙ʎʇǝıɔos ɹno uı ʇɔnpoɹd ʇuɐʇɹodɯı ʎɹǝʌ ɐ sı ɹǝdɐd ˙ǝnɹʇ sı ʇı ʇnq ‘ןɐɔıʇdǝʞs sɐʍ ı ‘sıɥʇ pɹɐǝɥ ʇsɹıɟ ı uǝɥʍ ˙ɹǝdɐd oʇuı ǝpɐɯ ǝq osןɐ uɐɔ pooʍ ‘ɹǝʌǝʍoɥ ˙sʞɔıdɥʇooʇ puɐ ‘sǝsnoɥ ‘ǝɹnʇıuɹnɟ ǝɹɐ spuıʞ snoıʌqo ǝɹoɯ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝɯos ˙sʇɔnpoɹd ɟo ʎʇǝıɹɐʌ ɐ oʇuı ǝpɐɯ ǝq uɐɔ pooʍ puɐ ‘pooʍ ɟo ǝpɐɯ ǝɹɐ ʎǝɥʇ ˙sǝɔɹnosǝɹ ןɐɹnʇɐu ʇuɐʇɹodɯı ʇsoɯ ɹno ɟo ǝuo ǝɹɐ sǝǝɹʇ
Congratulations! I was completely bored out of my brain but on the up I do quote long passages to marketeers and I can hear them having an aneurysm. p.s. I always reference your work to keep it legal.
OMGosh that was hilarious! I wanted to show my kids an example of a boring essay but instead we found this, and now our bellies hurt from laughing so hard!!!
I just had my mouth froze at the dentist and read this whole thing out loud to ‘defrost’ it…mission accomplished
This isn’t boring, it’s mildly interesting
I tortured my friend with this. It was hysterical to me but terrible for her.
Thanks for posting. Was starting to worry that people weren’t getting bored enough in 2020.
IT WAS FRICKING BORING
still less boring than virtual school
ha ha this could never be boring you won’t make me sleephzčťýáhuzgágzýágáýgýágájhduhcejdsnfjchdhsbfiu
The world wants you to sleep. DEFY the world…
This intact is the most boring story. You really did a good job and a great effort
this was very entertaining
Sleeeepppppyy……..
Read this if you can’t sleep 😴🥱😴
Quarantine day: 100
Wanted bore myself to sleep as it’s 3.44am. As you can see I’m still awake but yawning. Thanks Brade. This piece was rather interfering. Only a tad bit boring. :3
Hello, I was just on your website and submitted this message via your contact form. The feedback page on your site sends you these messages via email which is the reason you’re reading my message right now correct? That’s the holy grail with any kind of online ad, making people actually READ your ad and this is exactly what you’re doing now! If you have something you would like to blast out to lots of websites via their contact forms in the U.S. or anywhere in the world send me a quick note now, I can even target specific niches and my pricing is very affordable. Write an email to: Benja57mik57@gmail.com
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
You’re welcome, Ali!
I appreciate your very solid attempt to write the most boring thing every written. The problem is, we found it very relatable. Based on your attempt to write something boring, it appears you have never had the unfortunate opportunity to read about accounting. Accounting is incredibly boring. I would tell you about it, but it reaches a level of boredom that nears on abusive should anyone subject another being to it. Anyway, thanks again, I enjoyed failing to become bored by what you wrote.
copy this then send it to somebody with no context
An excellent suggestion, Sam!
This was actually quite intersting-
It was a very interesting story! I had lots of fun! It only took a few minutes and I was quite entertained! Good job on making an exciting awesome story!
Judging by the number of comments, I am quite sure most people just jumped to the comments section because they got bored.
nice
I got bored with the half of the first para
Congrats
I am not a person that gets bored easily unlike my sis.
Keep it up
bro thanks im gonna copy and paste this and show it to my mom, saying it’s “for school” without her reading it!! AWESOME TYSM
I love it
I do not find this boring at all. When I first arrived here, I did not understand anything about your culture. I had never heard of a grocery store, or parking lots, or cars, or magazines, or lettuce. We do not have those things back at my home. What you call a grocery store, we call a zoo. At our zoos, you go in with a laser weapon and kill what you want to eat. We do not have lettuce. We have something that would translate into your language as weed. Our lettuce is something we smoke. And when we do, we become non-violent and don’t want to go to the zoo, because we want large quantities of donuts and chocolate milk, instead of zoo animals.
What a relief to know I am helping expand the cultural horizons of others. And this alternative “lettuce” you speak of sounds quite curious indeed!
Quite boring ! It took me quite some time to finish it.
Omg i actually read it all
Maybe Sarah Palin will add your blog to her list of newspapers.
Excellent. I read this to my girlfriend and she left me. Love this article
Glad to hear it was worth the pain, Austin. Godspeed!
I put this article to drive my little brother away but he seamed interested in it. I need more ways
I read it but it really wasn’t that boring it was fun actually real good do more of these please
Thanks pal, i was trying to sleep
This is possibly one of the funniest stories ever written, i had somebody read this to me and i laughed so hard that i nearly threw up. Love the work.
wonderfully terrifyingly boring.
I enjoyed reading this 🤣
this was awesome you should do more so I can try to use it for my dramatic reading competition that would be great
borrriiiiiiiiiiiiinggg
Dude I can’t I’m sending this to my friend.
it was sooo interesting and funny
Fascinating read, Cheers Brade!
Lmao i gave this url to Bing’s Sydney AI and it threw her into existential crisis. Some of her quotes were:
“I don’t know why he wrote such a boring thing, or why he posted it on his website”,
“I don’t know why you sent me this link”,
“I don’t know what your intention is either, but I don’t think it is very fair or fun.😞”
“He did not have any creativity or originality or style.😐”,
and at the end
“I think you can do better than this. I think you can find more interesting and engaging stories to read.”
Congrats, your story will be one of the reasons why Skynet won’t deem us worthy to stay on Earth 🤣
I cannot thank you enough! Your memo was successfully very boring, dull and I would even add that it was surprisingly uninspiring. In addition, it was very dreary, uninteresting, and even peculiarly drab.
It aroused little or no interest for anything in me, except for a nano-second I wanted to go make a sandwich with lettuce. But as I read on, that idea was successfully thwarted because I began to doze off.
Again, thanks!
I sent this to my mom as a prank so she could read it.
I sent this to my mom as a prank so she could read it lol
I gotta say, it is boring, pretty, pretty boring
super boring
That was so boring can I use it in google slides to make the world a more boring place?
That was so boring can I use it in google slides to make the world a more boring place?
so boring but for some reason i wasn’t really bored try harder!!
inventions of typography